


FF #3: Too Far, Too Fast

by CJ_fics



Series: Olicity Flash Fic Challenge [2]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-23
Updated: 2014-12-23
Packaged: 2018-03-03 01:42:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2833520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CJ_fics/pseuds/CJ_fics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felicity knows her place. She's sure of it. Until Oliver corrects her notion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	FF #3: Too Far, Too Fast

Felicity always knew that the idea of her and Oliver being together in any kind of romantic way was unthinkable. For both of them.  
  
Oh, Oliver made that clear when he got involved with Sara after telling Felicity that he couldn't get involved with someone he could really care about. Felicity got the message loud and clear.

And, while large parts of her was embarrassed that she allowed herself even for a second to believe that she could be someone Oliver Queen and The Arrow could really care about, worried about her place in the team in the face of such an accomplished woman like Sara Lance, and just simply stung, there was a part of her that was relieved. Relieved that she didn't have to be Oliver's main source of comfort. That he was not going to take a more central role in her already Oliver / Arrow filled life. That he could just be her friend and not her lover or boyfriend because Oliver Queen was a great friend but kind of sucked as a boyfriend (if the Lance Sister Drama was an indication). That she could just be his friend, not his lover or girlfriend, because being Oliver Queen's friend doesn't come with the same expectations and pressures of being his girlfriend. That she was not going to have to give him any more of herself, of her heart because he didn't want any more of her, just her IT skills and her friendship. Phew.  
  
Felicity always knew her place. In her academic life, she was always conscious of her ranking, knowing who was ahead of her and who was behind her in grades. It was important to her because in grade school and high school, her ranking impacted her chances for a full ride to M.I.T.. In college, her academic standing was important in keeping her scholarship. Growing up with her mother, it was important that she remembered exactly what they were in relation to each other. Felicity could never afford to forget, even for a minute, that her place in her mother's life was not as a daughter but rather as someone Elise Smoak had to take care of temporarily.  
  
Her relationship with Team Arrow was no different for Felicity. She knew her place in the team (IT girl and sometimes bait). She knew her place in relation to Digg (friend, someone Digg trained in self-defense, someone Digg would protect, someone Digg loved with brotherly affection), to Roy (teammate, not really friends, but someone that Roy will not deliberately harm), to Sara (friend, the girl who obviously was crushing on Sara's boyfriend, Sara Lance idoliser), and to Oliver (friend, Executive Assistant, teammate). And she liked her place. It was comfortable, it was safe. It allowed her to help save Starling City despite her lack of fighting prowess, to be able to use her skills and her brains for something bigger than her career and Thursday Night Trivia at Mike's Bar. Her place in the team was more than enough for her.  
  
As of two months ago, Felicity knew two things: (1) that she and Oliver equally found the idea of them being other than friends unthinkable; and (2) her place in the team and in relation to Oliver.  
  
Up until two months ago, Felicity spent her weekends nights catching up on the shows she missed during the week with a glass (or two, or three) of red wine and popcorn, alone. Oh, she still caught up with her shows on weekends, still filled her belly with popcorn and red wine, but now she did those things with Oliver Queen.

Two months ago, on a Friday, at the end of the work week, as she was leaving her new day job at the SCPD as their sysad and tech-support to head for her night job in the new Arrow lair, she was surprised to see Oliver waiting for her outside the station. She was even more surprised when he told her that they were taking the night off from Arrow business and that he was inviting himself to her weekend tradition. He had invited himself to her weekend evenings since -- as well as other evenings when Arrow business was light.  
  
He'd also begun showing more interest in her, her history, how she ended up in Starling City from Vegas, her hobbies, the shows and the films that she liked and enjoyed (anything she liked and enjoyed, actually). He was just more … _present_ in her non-working hours. More so than when she was his EA and spent her days and nights with working with him.  
  
She had a feeling what this -- the _friendliness_ , his interest in her, his presence beyond their common work -- was all about: some leftover guilt about how he finally defeated Slade Wilson and his need to show her that she mattered to him to alleviate some of that guilt. It would have been totally in-character for the Oliver she knew to have some kind of angst about how he tricked Slade by feigning some kind of deeper love for her, and, to his mind, offering her up as bait for his worst enemy. She didn't know how to confront him about it, and she knew that nothing she could do or say to him would get him to stop beating himself up for it. For what he thought he did to her.  
  
So she allowed it, this new _friendliness_. Perhaps, she thought, if she could show him that nothing has changed, that they were still friends, that she regarded him with the same admiration, respect and fondness, and that she didn't feel like he owed her for setting her up as bait for Slade Wilson, he would eventually forgive himself and things between them would revert to the time pre- what she called, The Slade Wilson Trap. Besides, spending this much time with Oliver was fun. He allowed himself to relax around her and that brought about a deeper understanding on her part about the multiple facets of Oliver Queen. And, she was never going to complain about someone whom she admired and respected wanting to get to know her and be her friend.  
  
But she was never ever ( _ever!_ ) allowing herself to think that it was more than that. That would be stupid. And Felicity Smoak is not stupid. So what if he had taken to removing cucumbers from her salad (she hates cucumbers), if he had taken up the habit of releasing her hair from her ponytail after a long day's work to massage her scalp and then braiding her hair back afterwards ( _"I grew up with a sister, you learn these things."_ ), if he greeted her at the SCPD station on Monday mornings with a triple espresso shot caramel macchiato from her favourite cafe because he knew that she overslept on Monday mornings and therefore didn't have the time to get her coffee, if he had bought a motorcycle helmet for her and kept that stashed in his bike's compartment so that he can take her for rides any time, if he had become more expressive about his appreciation of her IT skills by hugging her and whispering _"You're remarkable, Felicity Smoak",_ or if he suddenly asked about other, non-Arrow Team, people in her life, referring to them with their first names. Those were things that friends did for a friends. Nothing more.  
  
So imagine her shock, when he said, while they were seating on her couch marathoning Season 3 of Fringe on a Saturday night, _"I meant it. Back in the Queen Mansion, what I said to you. I meant it."._  
  
 _"Dammit, Oliver! No! Just no! Don't do this, please."_ It was one thing to demonstrate real friendship towards her, but him implying that he loved her? That was going too far.  
  
 _"Do what, Felicity? It's the truth,"_ he insisted, reaching for her.  
  
She stood up and out of his reach. _"It's you alleviating your guilt about Slade Wilson and that night. Don't mistake your feelings of responsibility towards me because of that night, because of your desperation to defeat Slade,because you had no other choice but to use me that way, for something more than that. I won't allow it. You don't owe me anything,"_ she said.  
  
 _"That's not what this about! Felicity, I've been half in love with you for about two years now. I just --"_  
  
 _"Stop. You're going too fast! You're in love with me?!?! How is that possible? So what was Sara about? What was Isabel about? You can't retcon what's happened, Oliver! That only works in comic books and science fiction series. Not in real life! So just stop it!". S_ he was pacing now, trying to figure out what was going on. She was so not prepared for this.  
  
And now he looked upset. He was pressing his right thumb to his forefinger like he was notching an arrow -- a sure sign that he was agitated. He also looked like he wanted to cry, or kill something -- his jaw was so clenched. But at least he has stopped with the romantic declarations.  
  
But now, she didn't know what to say. Does she try to comfort him? Or offer him more popcorn and pretend the last 5 minutes didn't happen? Should she just head for her room and trust him to let himself out? What was the standard protocol for denying a guy's declaration of love because you knew that it wasn't real and you didn't want to get your heart devastated when (when, not if) he realises somewhere in the future that it wasn't real (just like you believe now) anyway?  
  
 _"Oliver."_  
  
He nods to let her know that he heard her. But he still refuses to look at anything beyond the fingers notching an imaginary arrow.  
  
 _"Can you understand where I'm coming from? Why I can't be more than your friend? Why I can't accept what you're saying to me?"_  
  
He nods again, and says, _"Yes. You don't trust me."_  
  
Now that was just wrong. _"I trust you with my life, Oliver. Surely, the Slade Wilson Trap proves that."_  
  
He winces at the reference to that evening, but Felicity would never shy away from it (it was one of her finest moments, managing to inject Slade Wilson with the Mirakuru cure while he held a sword to her throat). She was never not going to be proud of herself for that.  
  
 _"You don't trust me with your heart then. Because I've hurt you. With Isabel. With Sara. With Slade. I understand where you're coming from, Felicity. And good for you, Felicity. I wouldn't want to be with me either, if I were you."_  
  
 _"Oliver, that's not what I meant. You and I, being more than friends, it's not a good idea. You just lived through Slade Wilson. Understandably, you're assigning feelings for me because I helped you defeat him. It's just --"_  
  
 _"No, no, it's OK. You don't have to explain. I thought … I was thinking … I thought that I could take a shot. Work up the nerve to let you know how I felt. How I really felt. About you. How I still feel. How I will always feel. About you … It's perfectly understandable that you don't feel the same way. Or that you doubt me. Because I've been careless with your feelings in the past. I understand, Felicity._ " He's gotten up from the couch and was headed for the door.  
  
 _"Oliver--"_  
  
He turns back to her. With one hand planted on her shoulder, the other on her nape, he pulls her up to his chest as he bends down so he can cover her mouth with his.

Felicity lost track of time. The kiss could have last two minutes, two hours, two weeks, two months, two years. She had no clue. She didn't care. This was too good.His lips are chapped but soft and he tasted of red wine, chocolate, popcorn (the things they were ingesting tonight) but also of something dark like really, really good scotch. His tongue sought entrance between her lips and then just … devoured her. She devoured him back, grabbing the collar of his sweater and holding on to it as she stood, tiptoed.  
  
Abruptly, he stops but doesn't pull away from her. His eyes are still closed while his mouth, slight open, hovers over her own slightly opened lips.  
  
He sighs and takes a step back, _"I had to do that at least once."_  
  
 _"Oliver--"_ she had no idea what to say after a life-altering kiss like that and his words.  
  
 _"Felicity,"_ he says her name like a prayer, opens his eyes and then pulls completely away.  
  
 _"Oliver, I don't think this is a good idea."_ Now that he's no longer touching her, she's beginning to gather her wits.  
  
 _"I know you don't. I understand. I'm not going to force you to believe otherwise. And I would be more than happy, if friends is all you will allow us to be. That's more than what I deserve. Maybe some day you'll allow us to be more. Or not. Either way, so long as you allow me to be in your life, will be more than I could ever hope for."_ His smile is wistful, sad, and a little hopeful.  
  
Before she can respond, he's already opened her door, stepped out and disappeared into the night.  
  
\------------------------

He didn't show up for the Sunday Game of Thrones marathon. She thinks he's either smarting from what happened the night before or he's giving her space. Or both.  
  
She didn't know how to face come Monday evening when they had to go back to Arrow work in the new lair. She spent the rest of Saturday, and all of Sunday, worrying about what to do when she saw him again. How was she going to hold a conversation with him when she knew how he tasted? The feel of his lips? What is felt to have him hold her in his arms? How was she going to act normal when all she could think about was whether or not what he said was true? That he loved her? Has been in love with her for years? How could she face him again when she rejected him? The way he looked on her couch will haunt her for a long time.

She needn't have worried.

She was rushing to work on Monday morning, having woken up late again, when she saw him leaning against the railing of the SCPD entrance steps, a familiar paper cup of coffee in his hand.

 _"Here. Your usual,"_ he smiles at her, a bit shy.

 _"Thank you,"_ she smiles nervously. Still a bit apprehensive.

 _"Look, about last Saturday,"_ he began, running his right hand on the back of his neck, _"I just want to assure you that I understand. I went too far, too fast. And I get why you don't want to be with me that way."_

How to respond to that?

 _"OK. Phew!"_ she says. _"Have to report to work now. See you tonight?"_

He nods as she heads up the steps. _"Oh, and Felicity? I want you to know that I will  wait for you to be ready, closely and slowly."_

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted here: http://outoftheclosetshipper.tumblr.com/post/88187437948/ff-3-too-far-too-fast


End file.
